I don't want it!
by amy.ward.906
Summary: A slayer is called, but this one has known of the supernatural long before her calling. She refuses to accept her destiny, not because she is rogue, but for a reason that is all too personal. Can she shed the burden of her past and accept her gift or will she let her anger crush her spirit?
1. A knock at the door

**Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS. All I own are my own ideas. Also I have about 10 dollars to my name so go ahead and sue me if you want. You won't get much, if anything.**

**A/N: Ok so this is set around… hell I don't know. Buffy is out of high school definitely. Oh and Merrick isn't dead. Plus Spike is at Giles's. He has a semi-okay relationship with the Scoobies. Other than that, well you will just have to wait and see.**

**11:00 pm**

Giles was sitting down with a cup of tea and a good book just relaxing, as much as he could anyway with Spike watching television. Ever since Willow had convinced him not to keep Spike chained up in his bathtub (which as much as he disagreed with her, it was easier not to have to unlock him every so often) and since Xander had discovered his television, Spike had been sitting in front of it most nights instead of leaving his flat. It wasn't too much of a bother, but with no impending doom lurking around the corner he wanted to just enjoy the peace and quiet for once.

"Spike would you please turn that infernal contraption off?"

"Come on Watcher, this is a good episode!"

Giles just glared at him, with a look of Ripper coming to the surface. Spike luckily got the message and flicked the TV off.

"What's got into you Rupes?"

"I would like just one night of relaxation." _Just a cup of tea and a good book. No apocalypses lurking around the corner._

"Fine, all you had to do was ask." Spike picked up a book of condensed poetry and leaned back into the sofa. It was seldom he let _William_ come to the surface, but hell if the Watcher was relaxing then damn; he had a right to relax as well.

**KNOCK! KNOCK!**

'_Figures'_ Giles thought, _'I can't have one night to relax'_ But this was the cost of being a Watcher.

"Just a moment," he said as he headed to the door. As he opened the door he gasped. In the entryway stood a man cradling a girl in his arms.

"Rupert I need your help."

"Merrick?"

**A/N: I know, I am evil. Leaving the first chapter on a cliffie, but I gotta do something to keep you readers coming back for more. **

**A/N: I decided to have Merrick not be dead, you can thank me later…or now. Either way I'm not picky. As for Giles not keeping Spike locked up, don't you think it would be inconvenient for him to have to unlock Spike every time he wanted to bathe? I think so, and as for the TV show Spike was watching, just say it was South Park. Spike's a pig, and from what I have heard South Park is a pretty dirty minded show so it fits. Well anyway keep reading and as I have said in the past Read It, Love It, Review It! **


	2. Asking for help

"Merrick?"

"Rupert, I need your help. She needs your help," Merrick said, gesturing to the girl he was carrying in his arms. Giles looked at Merrick and ushered them inside. Merrick gently laid the girl on the couch, propping a throw pillow underneath her head. As Spike came back in from the bathroom (he had gone as Giles was answering the door) he noticed the girl.

"Who's the chit?" Merrick looked up and noticed Spike.

"William the Bloody, I presume."

"Yeah who're you? Another Watcher?" Spike didn't like these Watcher types. Hell, he could barely stand Giles.

Giles decided to intervene, "Spike this is Merrick. He's an old friend."

Spike heard this and decided to play nice. _For now anyway._ "Any friend of Giles is a friend of mine."

Giles was glad that Spike was being so considerate. As Merrick stepped away from the couch, Giles moved towards the girl. Taking a closer look at her, he noticed a few bruises, one covering her upper left side of her back near her shoulder and one sporting the right side of her face, mixing in with a black eye. He also noticed her bottom lip was split. It had stopped bleeding, but a nice wound was there.

"Merrick, what happened to the girl?"

"Her guardians," Merrick said, almost spitting out the word. In his opinion the people that did this to her should not even have that title.

"Her parents? They did this to her?" Giles was in shock.

"Not her parents. Her foster parents."

"What happened to her birth parents?"

"Her mother has been dead for 6 years. Her father is not in the picture."

Spike spoke up, "Merrick, you were Buffy's Watcher down in LA weren't you?"

"Yes I was, and that's why I was hoping he could help now."

"Help how?" Giles wasn't entirely sure why Merrick would bring this girl to him except…

"She's a …

"Yes she is. She was called a month ago."

Spike almost yelled, "This girl's a slayer? How is she hurt like that then?"

"Keep your voice down Spike," Giles whispered harshly. "He has a point though, if she has been hurt shouldn't she be healing?"

"She's refusing her calling."

"You mean….

"She hasn't gone rogue Rupert. She's just not accepting her calling."

"It's killing her isn't it?" Spike said. He's seen this before and it wasn't pretty.

"Yes," Merrick said, "It is."


	3. Explanations

"What do you mean it's killing her?"

"Feel her forehead Giles."

Giles put the palm of his hand to the girl's forehead. She was burning up.

"See what I mean? She's not accepting her Slayer powers. That's probably why she's all bruised."

"It still doesn't explain the fever."

Spike let out a huff. For a Watcher Giles didn't know much. "Listen Rupert 'cause I'm only gonna say this once. If a Slayer is called, but she doesn't accept her gift then she gets sick, and by sick I'm not talkin' about a little bitty cold. I mean like sick-deathbed sick."

Giles looked at Spike with shock. Apparently he'd seen this before. What Spike said next confirmed it.

"Saw this myself long time ago, only a few years after I was turned. The girl lasted maybe 2 months before she died."

Giles turned his head to look at Merrick. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Merrick walked into the kitchen with Giles following him. Spike took Giles place near the girl, just stroking her hair, trying to give the girl some sort of comfort. She looked like she could use it.

"It all started about a month ago…

_Flashback…_

**Dany was visiting her mom's grave. It was about 10pm. She knew it was stupid to be out this late in a graveyard, but she couldn't be at home right now. She didn't want to be. As she was about to leave she heard a noise. Staying still and listening to the sounds around her, she suddenly turned around and saw a man standing at the gate. He walked over towards her and…**

"**I'm glad you are already here. This will save me the trouble of having to pick you up."**

**He tossed her a sharpened stick of wood, which she caught mid-air with ease. **

"**Now what I have to say may sound strange, but I beg you to hear me out. You've been having strange dreams, have you not? Dreams where you are in a different time and someone else's body as maybe a wench or a maid? You are-**

**She cut him off mid-sentence. "killing?**

"**Yes, now this means-**

**Again she interrupted. "I'm a Vampire Slayer. Yeah, I know what's your point?"**

**Merrick was shocked. Not having to explain was strange. "You know of the supernatural?"**

"**Enough of it to matter. Look I understand what you want me to do. So can we get down to killing the vamps?"**

"**Fair enough."**

_Two weeks later…_

"**Where have you been?" Merrick was appalled. She had not been patrolling as often as she should.**

"**Look Merrick I can't do this. Not anymore."**

"**Look Danielle –**

"**I told you to call me Dany." She hated being called by her full name.**

"**Fine Dany I understand that this calling, this destiny is hard at first. Yes it can take its toll but-**

"**No you don't understand I can't do this. I won't." She started to walk away ignoring her Watcher's words to stop.**

"**Danielle Grace Lawson!"**

**She turned around and gave him a look of hatred. "Just stay away from me Merrick, I don't want this calling. This destiny as you so kindly put it, is just causing me problems. Alright?" With that she stormed off into the night.**

_End of flashback…_

"She patrolled all of 3 times then just stopped. When I caught up with her and had the argument, I couldn't understand what the problem was. Finding her tonight now I know."

"You think….

"I have a feeling with her foster parents beating her and her fast recovery healing powers, she was getting hurt worse. So she shut her body down to not allow her system to heal itself. In doing so it has caused her to become sick."

"You think that's it?" Spike said from out in the living room.

Giles left the kitchen. "What do you mean Spike?"

"How do you think she knew about all this to begin with? She must have found out about this from someone."

Merrick stood it thought. Spike/William was right. In all the years he had training Slayers, none of them had known about this beforehand. He just wondered how she found out. But right now there were more pressing matters at hand.

"Do you have any idea on how we can help her?"

"Well if she shut her body down to stop the healing process, all she needs to do is let some pent up Slayer energy loose right?"

"Not gonna happen Giles. One she's too out of it to let loose anything and second if she hates the calling that much she's not gonna do anything that will involve it."

"So what do you suggest Spike?"

"There's only one thing we can do."


	4. Bloodletting

**Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS**

_Previously: "There's only one thing we can do"_

"I have to bite her."

This idea was not met with approval, as Giles became furious.

"Absolutely not! You are not going to hurt this girl any more than she already is!"

Spike had to make Giles understand, because otherwise this girl would die.

"Look Rupes, I don't have much of a choice. With the Slayer energy in her system, removing some of her blood is the only way to help her. So unless you have some medical supplies on hand for removing her blood **(A/N: think similar to a transfusion) **we don't have any other option."

Giles did not approve of this at all, but he couldn't let her die. "Do you know how much to remove?"

"Yeah so don't worry. This will bring her fever down and help her sleep. That way, when she wakes up, you and I can try to get her to understand why she needs to do this."

Giles nodded his head. Spike went over to the couch and gently picked the girl up, putting her on his lap. Giles was about to intervene, but Spike said, "Take it easy Watcher. This is only so if she regains consciousness, I can calm her down before she puts up a fight." Giles left the room to get some bandages for her neck for afterwards and to talk to Merrick.

"Here's her things Rupert, keep her safe."

"Wait you expect me to…

"I'm leaving her in your care. Take care of her and find out why she reacted like this. I'll check in on her soon."

Merrick drove off, leaving Giles holding the bag…literally. Giles was holding her suitcase and a backpack. As he went back inside and set the items in his spare room, he went to the kitchen and prepared a pot of tea.

_Meanwhile…_

Spike held the girl, gently pushing the hair from her face. Muttering soothing words to her, even though he wasn't sure if she could hear them, he leaned his head forward kissing her pulse point, trying to soften the skin. As he changed into his game face, he stroked her hair one more time and bit into her neck, slowly draining the blood from her body.


	5. Thoughts

As Spike slowly drained the blood, he noticed her fever diminishing, her body temperature going down. As she started to regain consciousness, he removed his fangs and licked her neck sealing the wounds. At that point Giles had come back out to the living room. He sat for a brief moment on the edge of the coffee table and placed a bandage on the girl's neck. Taking her pulse and finding it to be strong and steady, he motioned for Spike to follow him.

Spike picked up the girl and followed Giles to the spare room. Giles pulled back the covers as Spike set the girl down and covered her up, tucking her in. As he kissed the girl on the forehead and whispered good night, he looked at her. How could anyone hurt someone this much?

_Dany's P.O.V._

_I hadn't felt good for a while now. I barely remember Merrick helping me in the car. The car stopped and Merrick picked me up and carried me to a door. That was the last thing I remember until …_

_I was on someone's lap, being held, being cradled. My neck hurt, not too much but still…had I been attacked by a vampire? Must have been because some old guy was placing a bandage on my neck. I bet he's a Watcher… looks like one. He's not Merrick though… where is Merrick? _

_Now he's holding my wrist, taking my pulse. He must think its fine because the next thing I realize is being picked up and carried down a short hall to a bedroom. The old guy is fixing the bed while the one that was carrying me is tucking me in. He tucks me in and kisses my forehead, whispering good night. Just like my mom used to do. I miss her. But this guy looks nice. He's looking at me, with a look of sorrow on his face. Man am I wiped. But I feel better, don't know what happened, and to be honest right now I don't care. Right now I am tired and don't have to be a Slayer so I am going to sleep._


	6. Waking Up and Discussions

Dany's POV

Sunlight peeking in through the blinds alerted me that it was morning. Opening my eyes and taking in my surroundings I slowly sat up. As I pushed off the covers and swung my legs over the side of the bed, the room started spinning. Closing my eyes for a few moments and bringing my hand to my forehead, I tried to surpass the dizziness. As the dizziness passed I opened my eyes.

Noticing my neck was a bit stiff, I touched it and feeling the bandage, I tried to recall the events of the previous night. I remember Merrick, then another Watcher-guy and a guy with blonde hair tucking me in and kissing me goodnight. He seemed nice.

Getting up and opening the door, I could see a bathroom across the hall. I used it and as I exited I heard voices. Upon entering the living room, I saw two men who I recognized from the few moments I was conscious the night before. They were in the middle of a conversation.

"How much longer do you think she is going to sleep?" the Watcher-looking guy asked.

"SHE is already awake," I said, making my presence known.

"How are you feeling Pet?" The blonde guy said.

"Okay I guess," I said shrugging.

"Would you like some breakfast?" the Watcher-looking guy asked, already heading out to the kitchen.

The blonde guy ushered me to the couch. "I'm Spike," he said. "The guy fixing you some breakfast goes by the name of Giles."

"Thanks for the offer, but I won't be needing breakfast," I said getting up and readying myself to leave. "Where are my things?"

"I'm afraid you can't leave," Giles said, bringing me a plate with eggs and toast and a glass of orange juice."

"Wanna bet Watcher?" I said, glaring at him.

"Miss Lawson-

"Don't even start…" I said interrupting. "I am not sticking around. I am going to get my stuff and be out that door in the next 5 minutes."

"Not gonna happen Pet."

"You gonna stop me?" I said challenging him.

"Yeah I am." Spike said, showing his game face.


	7. Anger and Tears

_Previously: "You gonna stop me?" I said challenging him. "Yeah I am." Spike said, showing his game face._

"YOU!" I yelled. "YOU! You're the one who bit me!" I said, tackling him, knocking him off the couch. As I hit him a few times, Giles (who had set the food aside) grabbed me by the waist, pulling me off him. He wrapped his arms around mine restraining me, as Spike got up off the floor. After a few moments of pointless struggling, I settled down. Giles released me and I sat down on the couch, eating the breakfast he handed me. As I finished, I voiced my question from earlier.

"Where are my things?"

"You are not leaving Pet." Spike said.

"Yes I am."

"Not until you tell us why you did that."

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you refuse your powers?"

"Why did you bite me?"

"I did it to save your life!" Spike yelled.

"Well maybe I didn't want to be saved!" I yelled back. Giles looked at me in shock. Spike did as well.

"I didn't ask for your help," I said, lowering my voice.

As I got up from the couch, "Where are my things?" I asked again, my voice starting to shake. Spike stood putting his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off. "I didn't ask for your help. I don't want your help. I don't want this." My voice cracked.

Spike pulled me into his arms, hugging me to his chest, while I cried. "I don't want this…I don't want this…" I just kept repeating while shedding tears. I was so sick of this, of everything. I was so tired, so sore. I hurt and I wanted it all to end. Eventually I fell asleep in Spike's arms.

_Spike's POV_

"Things have taken a toll on her." Giles said.

"Yeah but she'll be okay." _In time_

"I hope so," said Giles._ I sincerely hope so_.


	8. Confessions

I woke up a few hours later on the couch, with my head on Spike's leg, as he ran his fingers through my hair. I slowly sat up.

"You alright now?" Spike asked.

"I haven't been alright for a while."

"Everything's been going out of control huh?"

"That's one way of putting it. Where's Giles?"

"Right here," he said, coming in the front door. "Sorry I went to get some groceries," he said, as he went to the kitchen to put them away. After he put the food away, he sat down in an armchair in the living room. He noticed I wasn't looking too good.

"Not feeling well?"

"I'm nauseous and sore and so tired."

"Why don't you lay down a bit more Pet?" Spike said, trying to lay me back down on the couch.

"No I …

"You should let it loose." Giles said hesitantly.

"Rupert…" Spike said, sending him a silent message.

"What?" I asked trying to figure out what was going on.

"The reason you are not feeling well is because you are refusing your calling." Giles said.

"So I was called, and because I didn't do my job I got sick?"

"Yeah," Spike chimed in.

"Let me guess. If I continue not to do my job, I'll get sicker?"

"And die," said Giles.

_Nice. _"It's not my job."

"It's your destiny."

"It's not. I don't want it."

"Why Danielle?"

"Dany, it's Dany. I told Merrick this and I am telling you. Don't call me Danielle. I don't want this because of what you did, you and the rest of the stupid council."

"The council?" Spike asked.

"What did the council do?" Giles questioned.

"They just let her die. They didn't help her. They could and they didn't."

"Who?"

"My mom."


	9. Confessions Cont'

"They wouldn't help."

"Help how?"

"She needed protection and they refused."

"Protection from who?" Giles asked.

"Gatherers."

"But Gatherers are blood drinking demons out for a rush. Any blood would do." Spike said.

"They wanted her."

"But why?"

"Her blood was special."

"Special…"

"She was-

I nodded.

"What?" asked Spike.

"Helping a Daywalker is not one of the Council's top priorities." I said. Those words echoed in my mind. I could still hear the Council say them.

"A Daywalker? Your mother was a Daywalker?"

I nodded.

"Katy? That's who your mum was?"

I nodded again, tears streaming down my face. "She told me what I wanted to know about the supernatural, but when she…" my voiced wavered. "When she …" I couldn't say it. "When I was called, my foster parents, they got mad at me for going out. Then they started hitting me. It got worse when I healed. They said I needed to learn how to obey, that I needed a lesson I would remember. So I stopped patrolling, but I just got sick. I didn't know what to do so I ran. Merrick found me just outside of LA."

As I finished my story, Spike just cradled me, holding me and rocking me in his arms, trying to give me some sort of comfort. "Dany, did your mum ever say anything about her family?"

"She wouldn't say much, but sometimes she mentioned someone named Will and Liam. Why?"

"So she told you about me?"

"I thought your name was Spike?"

"It is, William is his human name." Giles said.

"Oh."

"She never told me or Peaches about you though."

I was about to question who Peaches was…

"That's what Spike calls Angel, who also goes by Angelus or Liam."

"Now you get some more sleep Luv, and when you get up, Rupert and I will train you."

"I am not…

"You can train with us and stay here with Giles."

Giles nodded, "I'll take care of the legal technicalities."

I realized I did not have much choice, so I agreed silently. Spike ushered me back to the bedroom and tucked me back in. As I lay down and was falling asleep, I could sense Spike nearby. I felt safe, knowing somehow he was different from other vampires and that he would protect me.

_3__rd__ person POV_

After Dany was asleep, Spike returned to the living room and saw Giles in the process of making a phone call.

"I'm calling the Council," he said, before Spike could even ask.

"What for?"

"To find out why they let Danielle's mother die and left her daughter alone."

"Dany won't like the Council being called for any reason."

"Yes, well in the process I can pull some strings to gain custody as well."


	10. The Council

London England 10 PM

Watcher's Council HQ

Quentin Travers was drinking a cup of tea when the phone rang. Picking it up he said, "Travers."

"Quentin," Giles said, his teeth clenched. He hated talking with this man at all, but right now it was necessary.

"Mr. Giles, what may i do for you this evening?" _'You disgrace'_

"You may give me custody of a slayer."

"I beg your pardon? I believe Miss Summers is a legal adult."

"I am not talking about Buffy."

"Then who are you talking about?"

"Dany."

That on word held meaning to Quentin. He took a moment to compose himself.

"Are you talking about Danielle Grace Lawson?"

"Yes i am." _'Filthy pillock'_

"I was under the impression that Mr. Merrick was responsible for her."

"Now i am."

"That is unacceptable."

"No, what's unacceptable is that you left a 10 year old girl alone."

"Rupert-

"Her mother was murdered and you left her alone."

"Yes, well...it is not our job to babysit children."

"No, it's not but it is your job to keep the supernatural under wraps."

"She knew, the child knew."

"Yes, Dany knows. She was called, already with knowledge of it, a fact you neglected to mention to Merrick."

"I wasn't aware-

"Just like you weren't aware of her current home life?"

"She was in foster care."

"She was in a foster home where she was abused constantly."

"Is she safe now?"

"Yes that's why i am requesting custody papers."

"You will have them by the end of the week."

"Why did you refuse her mother protection?" Giles asked, trying to get some answers. Unfortunately all he heard was a dial tone.

"Well, how did it go?"

"He'll be sending the necessary documents and i will have them by the end of the week."

Spike looked at Giles, "Something up?"

"I'm not sure, he refused to answer my questions regarding Katy's death."

"You think there's more to the story?"

"Possibly." _'I think the old codger's up to something'_


End file.
